I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
