I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
