I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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