Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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