Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
