Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
