You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
