So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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