We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
