my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
