in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
