dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
