she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just want nice things and good sex
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
