I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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