i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think your dad took our porno
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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