I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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