There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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