I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
