I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
