why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
