first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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