dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
