So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
