its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
