The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
