Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
