I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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