So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
