we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
