He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
