sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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