I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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