apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
handjob tips. give me some.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
