So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
