Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
