So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i think i have two assholes
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i've created a new STD.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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