So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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