We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
