first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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