I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
