If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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