Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
