I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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