thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
