I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
