brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
