It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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