Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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