The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
