is your mom at the bar?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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