In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize